Some people want a new watch for their birthday. Some dream of a vacation in Japan, or a new motorcycle, or a big lechon feast with the whole barangay.
Me?
For my 46th birthday, all I want is a zoo.
A legit farm zoo.
A menagerie.
A wild, beautiful, slightly chaotic paradise full of animals I’ve loved all my life.
The funny thing is—I don’t want just exotic animals. I want a mix of practical and exotic animals. I’m leaning more towards getting animals that serve a purpose on the farm and not just for attraction purposes because I have to be realistic with my choices.
In theory, I only have 7 hectares to work with, which is decent, but not “Jurassic Park” level. So, realism is the name of the game: limited large animals, sustainable space planning, proper enclosures, and making sure every creature has room to thrive.
The key is to make this place as organized and balanced as possible to make it achievable.
Poultry
I’m going to start my list with poultry. Free-range poultry to be exact because I don’t want them all cooped up in one space. So chickens first, 300 australorp chickens to be exact. I want so many of them roaming around that there won’t be a need for a lawnmower because they’ll do the trimming of the grass for me.
Plus, they catch insects, scratch up the ground, and create lots of er… fertilizer.
Australorps are known as one of the most, if not the most prolific egg-layers and that’s one of the main reasons why I want to get this exact breed of chickens for the farm. 300, even if let’s say only 80% of them are laying eggs on a daily basis will still result into 240 eggs and that’s a lot of eggs that I can use to serve as part of the recipe or meal our future restaurant serves or sell the surplus in the store to the neighborhood.
Their meat doesn’t taste bad too if they get too old or I could just bury them as fertilizer for the durian trees on the farm.
Next up would be ducks. I’d love to have a 100 or so ducks. Their eggs and meat taste great and they’re also great for mosquito larvae control.
Geese, have the added function of serving as security so 100?
I may be overcrowding the farm already with that many heads of poultry as part of my initial list but hey, this is just a wish list.
And who knows? Maybe I’ll get lucky and come upon some huge fortune that will allow me to buy additional areas surrounding the farm to expand.
To continue, I would also like some turkeys. Probably not as many as the chickens or the ducks but enough to keep it interesting. Turkey meat tastes really good and I could charge a premium if I serve it up to locals.
And for the ultimate “poultry” animal, how about some ostriches? Yeah, I’d love to have a small herd of them because I’ve heard their meat taste great. And I have yet to try their egg, I hear it’s also quite good too. I had an opportunity before to have an ostrich egg but the price was outside of my budget.
Goats and Sheep
Next up are goats. A farm isn’t complete without goats in it. Therefore, I’d like some. A good-sized herd for milk and meat production and to keep me amused with their silly antics.
And then sheep, for wool.
Cows
I could probably keep a few for milk production and meat purposes. We’ve already done it in the past and the national dairy industry in the Philippines will supply you with a cow provided that you will give back a calf.
Swinery
I’d like to keep a dozen pigs for meat purposes but I’ll make sure that their enclosure is one that they’ll enjoy living in until the time comes that I may need them for protein.
But the kind of pig that I would really love to keep are wild boars. These have tastier meat, in my opinion, and if I could secure a large enough land outside of the 7 hectares already available to me, I’m going to make sure they roam in a really large enclosure so that they can develop those nice lean muscles that taste really good.
Yeah and maybe this could be an added attraction wherein guests could “hunt” a boar for their meal.
Rabbits
I’ll need two types of rabbits. One for the petting zoo and another one for meat production. I know it sounds horrific but rabbit meat does taste good and people are getting accustomed to it.
Horses
As a kid, I know how high-maintenance horses are but we still do need them on the farm for transportation purposes. So I’ll just get hald a dozen? That should be enough to cycle through with guests who’d love to get on one for a fee.
2 Female Carabaos
You might be wondering why I prefer femle carabaos, well, they’re easier to control. And because as a child, I saw a bull go wild in public, I have always been scared of bull caraaos.
But I have no problem with female carabaos. And all they really have to do is just pull stuff from one area of the farm to the next and get plenty of rest in their own secluded area complete with a wallowing pit.
Cats and Dogs
My wife and I love cats and dogs. She loves cats more and so does my son. I’m more into dogs but I have no problem with cats.
In fact, I have a dream cat to own. A Maine Coon. And I’d like to have as many as I can possibly have and just let them walk around freely inside our house like the majestic beings that they are.
Aside from Maine Coons, I’d love to have as many cats roaming the property as possible. We already take in strays and they’ve really helped with controlling the rat population on the farm. So yeah, more cats please.
And now on to the dogs.
Dachshunds
The number one type of dog I’d love to have on the property is a dachshund. And I’d love to have at least a dozen of these wiener dogs because they were originally bred to be ratters. So that’s another way to keep the rat population down.
They’re not that bad as guard dogs too. These little buggers don’t know their size and have the courage of larger dogs.
Philippine Forest Dog or Asong Gubat
Hopefully, this will get recognized globally as a Philippine-specific breed which would put our country on the map as one with a unique kind of dog.
The asong gubat is an excellent breed that is naturally acclimated to the Philippines. They may not be the largest dogs but they more than make up for it in character and energy. I think half a dozen asong gubat is enough o guard the place.
Pomeranians
Not the most practical dogs to keep but man aren’t these little fluff balls just so cute? I’d love to have a whole pack of them just trailing me around all day. I’d call them my train of cuteness.
Huskies or Alaskan Malamutes
I’ve always dreamed of having a dog sled. And with a pack of huskies or Alaskan malamutes, I could in theory have that. The only difference would be that I would have to replace the sled with a cart on wheels.
With a dog cart, I can finally lessen my carbon footprint by not using a car and going by dog cart instead to wherever I want or need.
Three Massive Pitbulls
I’ve always loved pitbulls. I’ve owned a few of them and I know from personal experience that they are some of the sweetest dogs in the world.
But they’re not just sweethearts.
With proper training, they can be effective guard dogs too.
Reptiles
I would love to have as many rat snakes on the property as possible to keep the rodent population down.
Turtles, I love turtles, and if I could have every one of them I’d sure love that. So yeah, I’m planning to have a turtle pond with red eared sliders in them and some snapping turtles too. For lawnmower purposes, I’d love to have a few Aldabras and over a dozen Sulcatas. Some red foots too. And irradiateds. Malayan Box Turtles, Philippine Forest turltes, every kind of turtle that I’ve seen kn books, or in real life, I want on the farm.
And although I’m not much of a lizard lover, I wouldn’t mind having a bayawak roaming the grounds. Although my dream really is to have a Komodo Dragon. Now that, I wouldn’t allow to roam freely.
Call me crazy but I’d love to have more cobras on the farm too. To date, we have three that I can identify are individuals but who knows how many really are there?
I thought my python days were past me because ive become more practical as a father but it seems like it’s still there. Maybe I’m not that attracted to large pythons anymore but I wouldn’t mind having at least one Retic and one Burmese as pets kept in large enclosures.
Or to be a little more practical, maybe I’ll try to secure one of them dwarf retics that has become popular in the hobby world. At least I won’t have to spend a fortune feeding it.
I’d love to have some ball pythons though. These will be used for spreading awareness about snakes.
And if, and only if, someone puts up a saltwater crocodile for adoption, I’d snap up the chance to own one. And I’ll go as far as making a very large enclosure for it so that it can really swim around and have a good life while in my care for as long as I’m alive.
A Few Fishponds Full of Fish
Growing up, I was fortunate enough to have a grandfather who owned large fishponds. He had bangus and tilapia in it. That’s the same thing I want in my fishpond. And I’d love to have some catfish too and massive prawns. These ones I can offer to customers to use fishing rods in or when harvest time comes, they can help with harvesting the fish when I drain the pond.
I would also like to have a separate pond where I can keep ornanmental fish like massive Koi in.
And maybe some tanks that I can place around the restaurant to house fishes like Arowanas or Pacu in. maybe a few more that’ll feature not so large fishes like goldfishes and guppies.
Needless to say, I’d like to keep a lot of fishes for practical and ornamental reasons.
There’s a recent growth in interest for keeping crayfish and crabs and I’d like to get in on that too. It seems like they house individual crabs in plastic tubs and grow them efficiently to a certain size before selling. Crayfish on the other hand can be kept in small, concrete pools and can fetch a good price if they reach a certain size.
Natural Pest Control Units
Flycatchers and Hummingbirds
It would be cool to have flycatchers and hummingbirds on the property for insct control and pollination purposes (for the latter).
Bees
Although I’m allergic to bees, I still would love to have some on the farm for pollination reasons also. And hey, a little honey production on the side doesn’t hurt. If only I could get the ones that don’t have stingers.
Bats
I know this is a weird one but back in the day, bats were more numerous and in Siocon, at 5PM, we would see lots of bats flying out of a bat cave and literally darkening the sky with their huge numbers. I don’t really know where they emerged from but it was evry impressive to see bats of all sizes flying up above. And at night, we’d see glimpses of them flying above our heads catching the insects that seem to hover over us.
So yeah, natural pest control, very welcome.
And Now for the Totally Absurd
Elephants
How many is enough? One, two, three? Eight? I would love to have a small herd of elephants led by a matriarch. We won’t need a bull because I don’t want to breed them anyway. They’ll just be used for pulling heaver stuff that a carabao won’t be able to pull.
A Tiger
Since tigers are solitary in nature, keeping one seems like a practical idea even though this is just a fantasy. One would be manageable enough I think. I don’t plan on breeding them and to be honest, I am truly afraid of tigers. I blame it on Shere Khan from the Jungle Book.
Wolves
I’ve always been fascinated by wolves and have yet to see one in person. I’d really just love to walk up to one and see how big they really are. Owning a small pack of 5 wolves should be an amazing experience.
A Herd of Philippine Deer
Not tool large, fully acclimated to our weather and a beautiful species to showcase conservation.
A Small Pride of Lions
Yeha this is downright extravagant and could potentially be something I’ll regret as lions do tend to roar all night long, but then again, this is a fantasy. So yeah, a small pride of lions would be great. Let’s say one male and 6 females?
Yeah, that should be a good number of lions to have as mane, er… main attractions of the zoo.
A Pair of Philippine Eagles
I know I can’t keep one but wouldn’t it be cool if a pair of Philippine Eagles called the farm/zoo their home? They could go out and hunt/patrol all day and then come home to roost at the farm/zoo.
I would never put these majestic birds in a cage. their sheer size demand freedom, their beauty demand to be seen.
Last Two, Hang in There
A Couple of Swans
I would love to have a cob (male swan) and a pen (female swan) because growing up, I was told swans mated for life and this is something inspiring for me. I would love to spend time just watching them swim together in their own secluded area and just wish that same type of relationship on everyone. Solid. Monogamous. A symbol that forever does exist.
And the One Animal I Truly Dream of Owning One Day, A Giraffe
Last but not the least, in my list is a giraffe.
I’ve joked around with my friends that if and when I hit it big, the first thing I would buy would be a giraffe. And I would hang out with it all the time and walk it like it was a dog.
Probably not the best idea because giraffes can kill you with a single kick but hey I’d love to have one just walking around the property, grazing on leaves atop tall trees, and taking treats from guests when they have one to offer.
Yeah, that sums up all of the animals I wish to have on my zoo as part of my 46th birthday wish.
